THOUGHTS TO PONDER
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Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
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A day without sunshine is like, night.
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
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99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
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I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
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Honk if you love peace and quiet.
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Remember, half the people you know are below average.
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He who laughs last thinks slowest.
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets thecheese.
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I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
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Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
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Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
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Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
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Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!
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Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
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Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
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If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
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How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand ...
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OK, so what's the speed of dark?
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How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
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If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
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When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
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Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
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Everyone has a photographic memory; Some just don't have film.
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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
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I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
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I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
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Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
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A rose by any other name still has thorns. :)
(a "Woodism")
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Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened!
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Patience comes to he who waits. :)
(a "Woodism")
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Some advice:
You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose - but never pick your friend's nose.
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